HOW TO PREVENT Rivalry Between Children

There is nothing unusual about the phenomenon itself, but not all childhood rivalry is considered normal or healthy. “While many parents tend to view sibling strife as something natural, childhood rivalry can negatively impact mental health and lifelong. He should be treated as a potential threat, the same as bullying and bullying, ”explains family therapist Kathy Hardy Williams.

“It is important for parents to understand that their decisions about should be based primarily on the needs of the children, and not on the notorious justice,” continues Williams. – We used to think that justice is when everyone gets equally. But in fact, justice is when everyone gets what he needs. Parents who can teach their children this principle will do them an invaluable service.

Her opinion is echoed by research on interventions in childhood rivalry, which points to the need to encourage friendships between siblings. During it, 12 extracurricular activities took place, where children from the same family were taught positive friendly communication. They were asked to perceive each other as members of the same team, after which the authors noted that their mutual attachment was significantly strengthened.

Find time to interact with each child. Then it will be easier to see their unique qualities and develop talents.

There are other effective strategies: if a new addition is expected in the family, prepare the child for the birth of a baby, talk to him about it so that he feels like an important part of the process. Do not allow sudden changes in the life of an older child with the advent of a newborn. Be consistent, demand compliance with the rules without discounting age.

Brothers and sisters are more likely to offend each other if such behavior is turned a blind eye. It is very likely that the younger child, who is allowed to read take anything without the permission of the older one, will do the same when he grows up. Intervene in conflicts where there is a clear desire for unilateral gain or physical force is used.

Do not single out favorites and do not compare children. Do not set one child as an example to another. Refrain from negative comparative assessments of appearance or gender. Don’t force twins to wear the same clothes and don’t expect them to behave the same way. Find time to interact with each child. Then it will be easier to see their unique qualities and develop talents.