Nature, sending a man into a life path, provides him with a set of abilities, inclinations and inclinations. Aggressiveness is partly embedded in us biologically, because it is known that nature does nothing in vain. To cope with the task, you need to be a little angry at your own weakness. And in the battle with the enemy wins the one who is angrier.
On the other hand, anger is a great stress. Nature has provided us with it for exceptional situations. When irritability becomes a habit, a person acts not only to the detriment of others, but destroys his life.
How do you tell normal conflict from boorish behavior
Avoid boorish attacks from others, it is possible to extinguish the fire in time. Here are the signs by which you can understand that the conversation is aimed at spurting anger and insult:
- Unfulfilled expectations. The aggressor doesn’t offer you a solution, but immediately accuses you of not doing what he wants. For example, on public transport, instead of being asked to let you out, you are shouted that you are on the road.
- Personal insults. There’s criticism of what you can’t change. Like looks, ethnicity, kinship.
- Low self-esteem. It’s not disadvantages, it’s advantages and merits that are attacked. For example, material wealth, beautiful and expensive things, good luck in love. (“You have a lot of money, and we are poor people”).
- Alcohol. An excited and drunk person is not able to control communication with others at all.
Aggressive behavior is amplified many times if it is collective. An example of this is the fans of a losing football team. There is a psychological infection: one started, another picked up and went and went.
How to defend yourself
The aggressiveness of other people is difficult to fight. There are several strategies: avoidance, rivalry, compromise and cooperation.
Before giving back, i.e. resorting to rivalry, try to understand the reason. The head of the family from the threshold pounces on everyone who gets caught. He may have had a hard day. It manifested itself in an anger he couldn’t express at work. A “transference” worked when hostile feelings were directed not at a direct source (an unjust boss), but at more harmless targets. This happens often: the boss reprimanded the husband, the husband scolds his wife, she yells at her son, the son pulls his sister, the sister kicks the cat … Someone has to stop this relay.
Try a cooperation strategy. Be sympathetic and instead of retaliatory, ask, “What’s wrong?” In conversation, he’ll be able to express his accumulated resentment and be grateful to you.
Compromise is another sensible way to defeat the aggression of others. You accidentally stepped on someone’s leg. A man feels pain, and pain is one of the reasons for aggression. The reaction of the victim in this case will be considered normal, if he comes at you with curses. Hold back – repentance softens not only guilt, but also hostility.
In some cases, the best defense is attack. If you are attacked with undeserved accusations, you should not delay the solution. Cool your opponent’s fervor with substantive questions. This will allow you to take control of the situation. The rivalry strategy will work if you can convince the attacker of your truth, and you need arguments for that.
A sign of maturity, intelligence and self-control – the ability to patiently accept other people’s emotions, while not being dragged into them. Keep your distance, do not climb on the horn, do not provoke people, do not wake the beast in them. In other words, choose an avoidance strategy. If you’re being stabbed at home all the time – for a reason or no reason – find a way to get away from it.
The habit of behaving aggressively is formed as a result of learning. It is important not to encourage boorishness, it encourages its recurrence.
And one more piece of advice. Try to smile, because a smile disarms you. A proper joke can defuse the atmosphere in an instant, and here in front of you is not the hell, and the kindest soul of man.